Definitely, maybe?

Don’t get me wrong here I have always been much focused when it comes to family matters and problems solving skills. My wide (then) Laura, to be fair is such a hard working woman. She was raised in a family of tree, being the bread winner of her family, she is very independent. She always put herself as the leader and supporter of all her siblings.

I know she has always been very careful of all her choices, she never had a boyfriend and that makes her really safe and used to being alone. I know there are times I consider myself lucky but just turned it down because of some reasons.

Then we met and everything was history. She was hesitant at first but we were young then and I don’t know, there might be something with me that she let her guards down. I got her pregnant and decided to build a family. We had 3 girls and 1 boy. I married herr to give her security that I am commited to her and in everything that we have. The life then was an exciting ride, colors everywhere, happiness, no not ever a single room for sadness.

We had these normal stages in marriage. First was the very sweet of all, the honeymoon stage. Ecerything  is all happiness. Since I got her pregnant and we had kids, I asked her to quit working for I belive and also I was raised that way that I am the father and should be the one doing all the hardships for the family. I pleaded her to quit and just focus on our family. Cook, bake and just love us all the way.

She was very obedient then, she just said, she trust me and let me be the hero of the family. I was really happy then and couldn’t contain myself. I know that is too much to ask for her but, she said yes, and I am very much grateful for that. She then again let her guards down and trusted me once more.

Years passed, we had different ups and downs, no problem and all, she was there. She just stood beside me, always there to comfort me and love the kids. We sometimes argue, we yell, but then we compromised and really avoid arguing and things that shows no respect like fighting.

One day, something changed. Well actually, it isn’t just a one day thing, it occurs, most of the time, sometimes and worst, it happens daily. We may not notice it but we got used to being a far from each other. I started to realize that I am really not as composed as how I am now, for I still am not financially stable. (You wouldn’t believe how I was then)

So there, we talked, and then she said straight to my face, “She isn’t happy anymore….”

Fast forward to what I am now, I am a financially stable man. We are now friends we are both fulfilled with our career and so on. I guess she is having doubts about what we had then for the song “Look at me now…” simply applies.

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New Times

Luckily, a lot has changed since all that. The year is 2016. I’m still working for the government  though in what exactly I cannot tell you. Enough to say that I live in the suburbs and I work in an office. I am also taking classes, for which I get a stipend. I am more successful than I ever have been and am lucky to be living with my kids.

No, I am not married to my wife- or should I say ex-wife- any longer. We parted ways for a variety of reasons mostly having to do with matters of morals, or values and faith. When I would make efforts to help my family be more spiritual, she was a skeptic. She was more comfortable in the material world of jobs and clothes and the daily goings on of friends and family.

Don’t get me wrong I think those things are very important too. The difference is that I know the thing that is behind all of that good stuff. And that thing- that Holy thing- is what makes everything else important. When I remember to put that first- and I think you know by now that I am talking about God- everything else gets taken care of. Everything else falls into place.

Even financially, guidance is offered.

Have you ever noticed that when you are stressed, there is never a solution in sight? That the bills are piling up and you know that you are meant for something better, but you can’t think through the headache? But- when you are happy, relaxed and calm, ideas float in. Not only can you think of solutions, but you are more likely to get help. People will see that you are calm and positive and they will want to work with you.

How to get that positivity? That is through the Lord. That is how I have found the ability to raise my two beautiful kids so that they are well taken care of, and how I have work that pays the bills. I was blessed with two job opportunities on top of my office job.

One is working with one of the best landscaping companies San Antonio Texas has to offer. How did I get into that? Well, my ex-wife needed a job and she found a position designing lawns and gardens. I actually helped her get the job. Then the lord turned around and blessed me when the company needed someone to help them with their finances. I stepped in and switched them over to a much more efficient process.

That would have been enough, but then they decided to keep me on to consult for them on a regular basis. So now a favor done for my ex-wife has turned out to bless me as well, and our children.

I am not quite where I want to go yet, but working with this landscape architect  who stared on his own and now has a whole team has taught me one thing: little companies grow, and I believe that i can grow my skills as a consultant so that soon I might not need my office job. That means more time taking care of my kids, and that is a goal to work towards.

After Effects

Now it is almost 6 years since I became a soldier and now I am about to be medically released from the Army due to my body getting hurt and the Army not wanting me dying on there books. Ok this was not the plan that was in my head. I was not expecting to no longer be a soldier. I had planned on retiring from the Army. Well the good Lord had other plans for my life rather than stay in the Army. He was the issue it was a little after the 2008 housing bubble issue and jobs were being cut left and right.

My family told be I should do whatever it took to get into the government as a civilian. I told them ok and I did just that for 11 months until I was offered a job.

Can you imagine being the man of the house and not being able to financially take care of your family?

I went and got a job at the gas station and worked for less than 8 bucks an hour.  I was unable to financially take care of my family with that little pay. It was pretty hard to do anything and never knowing if we were going to make it.


Finances and New Parenthood

While in the Army I decide to get married and I find a wife that wants to have multiple kids since she was 4 of 5. I was 2 of 2 with my dad’s current marriage. I thought ok well we can do two and anything from there we would have to see how it all went. Well sure enough with the birth of my first kid we run into some issues that make it to where my now ex wife could not carry any more kids. She still had her eggs though.

So why did I tell you that story? The answer is because we were supposed to have a minimum of 2 kids and we were being stopped at the first one. It was almost immediate that my ex went online and stated looking up surrogates and the whole process. Well she comes across India and it being the cheapest over there from start to finish. Well what we did is take out a unsecure loan so that we could go through the process to have our second kid.

  • Remember the financial side of me?

Well something I got interested in was option buying and selling.

  • I had learned a few things about that and I was watching the market go up and down and thought that I could put the money in the market and flip it real quick so that the loan could be paid off and we could have our next kid debt free.

Boy was I in for a surprise when the market went the opposite way that I had played the market. What did that mean to us? Well when you but call or puts they can expire worthless and you can’t sell them and you end up loosing all that money. Well to keep you from wondering I lost the 30 thousand dollars in the market.

Now we had no kid and the debt of a 7-year loan to pay for to remind me of how stupid I was to do that with that money. Good news is I only have 4 more months left paying on that loan. SO you might be wondering how I got through this situation and the answer is time like 7 years.  The loss of a child was held over my head and probably still held over me.


My Youth and Financial Struggle

One of the times that I have found my self-wondering how I was going to pay my bills was when I was 19. All of my friends went off to collage and I stayed back and decided to be a financial advisor. All the numbers and statistics that I will quote are from all of the training that I had over those 3 years of my life. Back to the story, I decided to not go to collage and get all of my state licenses through the financial company that I have become involved in.

That is good and honorable but the issue that I battled was myself and the image I had of myself. Well let me make this make some sense. I was 19 and I was trying to sell financial services to people 2 to 4 times my age. I had that self doubt that they did not want to buy from some teenage punk. That self-image of myself set me up for failure from the very beginning. They call that being afraid of success. See I new what I sold very well and I could go toe to toe with many seasoned people in my industry.

A few times I did go up against my competition and new how to battle them well. The issue I had was that the financial world is usually a commission business until you climb to certain levels and then you get residuals and over rides on yours or others efforts. I never got to those levels due to the fear of success that I had. This led me to have to do side jobs just to buy food and pay my credit card bill. I usually did not know when my next amount of money was coming in. The only thing that was working for me was I still lived at home and my mom did not charge me rent. That was my saving grace in the situation.

SO here is how I was pulled out of that financial situation:
I was making cold calls from my house since I had become lazy and not wanting to go into the office. I was watching TV in the background and I came across a Army commercial. It talked about motivation and discipline. The two items I had become burnt out on. I then decided to see what were my options. As it turned out I left the financial world and became a soldier. That is how this story turns out. I began to get paid regularly twice a month.

Financial Toughness

Most people in the world feel hard times. Even the rich feel the hard times on there finances. This blog is going to be on the different times that the author has felt hard time. I am hoping that this blog touches just person and give them the motivation to find some strength that they thought they did not have and push through their current situation that they are in. That is my wish for you to make it through the pile of yuck you currently finds yourself in today. How does that sound?

The good news is that you are not alone in the financial suck that is going on out there. If you go to some place and you can see like a room of 100 the numbers tell the story that only 3 to 5 of those people are not dealing with financial troubles. That means that 95 to 97 of them are. Can you imagine that when you are looking at a person that they are dealing with money problems in some form or fashion? It might be that they have more months left then money in the bank and every month they operate in the negative and getting by just by credit.

It could be that they just lost their job and can’t pay the rent or the mortgage and they are wondering where they will live in the very near future. It is that they could be living paycheck to pay check. That if something was to happen that they could break. You may never know the situation that person next to you is in. Now the person next to you may have just got out of a tight situation or about to go into one. The numbers is not saying that this is all the time that a person suffers constantly financially. What the numbers do say is that by the time you are to retire on 3-5 people will be able to retire with no financial issues and the rest will either be flat broke or having to work in the retirement years do to poor planning.